The Five Minute Shoeshine

There are an awful lot of “how to polish your shoes” videos floating about the ether these days, and all of them seem to recommend a different routine. Some recommend conditioning before polishing, others suggest using nothing but cream, and you might even find videos that recommend using rendered down bits of mustelidae to waterproof leather soles.

Being inherently lazy I will, unless there’s a damned good reason for it, opt for the easiest possible method. In the case of polishing shoes, I make do with the following kit:

Cleaning brush x1
I use this for quickly cleaning off dried-on muck on the uppers and welt. I’ll also give leather soles a quick brushing down if they need it.

Old rag x3
These are usually old t shirts. I keep one for applying cream and conditioner, one for wet wiping and one for dry wiping.

Shoe cream x2
I usually only use two types of cream: black for black shoes and natural for all the others. I keep a number of shades of brown cream in reserve, just in case I need to touch over any scratches. Saphir is my brand of choice. Their creams contain a smidgeon of beeswax to help waterproof the uppers.

Leather conditioner x1
A bottle of leather conditioner goes a long way towards keeping shoes supple. They can be pricier than creams or polishes, but one bottle tends to last for quite a long time.

Polishing brush x1
Some people like to have separate brushes for brown and black shoes, but I stick with using just the one. I’ve not found that the brown wax residue transfers on to my black shoes, or vice versa.

The polishing method

Use conditioner one week and cream – or wax, if you prefer – the next. Either way, the polishing procedure is the same:

1. Clean

Ensure that your shoes are dry, then brush them down do remove any hardened on muck, dust and whatnot. Make sure you get those bristles into stubborn bits like the welt. If your shoes are particularly hacky, wipe them down with a wet rag, wipe the excess water off with a dry rag, and then brush them down again. Soles can be quickly scrubbed down with a brush if necessary, as well.

2. Apply

Rather than a brush I recommend using rag-wrapped fingers to apply cream or conditioner. This enables you to actually feel which parts of the shoe are the most dried out and apply accordingly. Wrap a rag firmly around your index and middle fingers and lightly dip it into the cream, then rub it into the leather using circular motions. Use a corner of the rag to get deep into the crack between the welt and upper. The whole applying process shouldn’t take more than a few minutes per shoe.

3. Leave to dry

Or, to be more precise, clean and then apply cream to your other shoe: by the time you’re done the first shoe should be dry. If it isn’t, then you’ve probably splurged on more cream than is necessary.

4. Polish

Grab your polishing brush and give it some welly. Work from the wrist, rather than the elbow, to get your shoes polished off with speed (now there’s an instruction that could be easily be misconstrued). I usually find that a brush provides enough shine, but if you really want a mirror-like finish give your shoes a final going over with a taut rag.

How often should I apply leather conditioner?
Applying conditioner and cream each week is unnecessary unless your shoes have undergone a traumatic event of some kind, such as being soaked through and dried out more than once over a five-day period. Use conditioner one week and cream – or wax, if you prefer – the next. Either way, the polishing procedure is the same.

My Two Scents: Autumn and Winter Scents

I love Sunday evenings on my little street. The sky, which often roars with Heathrow-bound air traffic, is relatively quiet, the sirens are few and far between and my neighbour fills his fire with oak logs which, in turn, fills the air with the aroma which Diptyque refer to as ‘Feu de Bois.’ One whiff and you are transported to the countryside, to a fireside idyll in the woods with crunchy leaves underfoot. After beatific smiles and exhalations of satisfaction, I wanted to bottle the smell and lather it on me. It was the definitive autumn smell.

I like smells that define the season. Cypress for the spring, oranges, grapefruit and lemon in the summer; in my opinion, fragrance is about more than selecting a year-round scent. When you wear your light linen and espadrilles to a soiree at the yacht club on a warm evening, you should add something that complements your clothing, the season and the occasion; a deep, woody number with spice notes would be a mistake. Here are some season-friendly suggestions for the remainder of 2011.

The Autumn Scent

Comme des Garcons ‘2 Man’ smells like church pews, old ships and forest fires. It is mossy and woody and has conspicuously intense notes that smell like incense. In the splendid words of one admirer, David Hunter; “…it is intoxicating and a masterpiece. Strike a match and light a waxed saddle on fire, throw in a tumble weed, cedar, sandalwood, frankincense, and what the hell, add a gallon of gasoline. Then grab a Single Malt Scotch and get drunk on the smoke. By the time you pass out, you’ll find yourself inside of a Byzantine Mosque. Believe me.” The rusticity of the scent and distinct smell of incineration make this the ideal scent for the autumn season; team with a peanut-butter coloured cord jacket, paisley tie, dark denim and brown brogues.

The Winter Scent

Admittedly this scent isn’t an all-winter scent, but it is perfect for the festive season. In the cold of December, when the snow covers the ground, and you mush through the naked trees in your favourite overcoat with your gloved hands shoved deep in your pockets, you catch a whiff of roasted chestnuts and mulled wine from a nearby stall; that is the effect of Dolce & Gabbana’s ‘The One Gentleman’. The original scent, ‘The One’, was pleasant with base notes of tobacco and ambergris and sweet top notes of grapefruit and basil but it was more of an all-rounder; ‘The One Gentleman’ is spicier and more oriental with pepper, cardamom and patchouli. It smells like Christmas should smell; that warm glow in the darkness. Team with a burgundy velvet jacket, tartan tie, black trousers and patent shoes for the party season.

Winter Suit Storage

Here in the American South the flowers are blooming, the leaves are popping and the temperatures are rising. I decided over the weekend that it was time to put my winter wardrobe into storage. I won’t need those flannel suits or tweed jackets until the weather turns cold again next fall. By removing those items to a storage closet, I am sure to have plenty of uncluttered space in my main closet. Those clothes are also protected until they are again needed.

In preparing to put your winter clothes into storage I would first suggest taking stock of your inventory. Do you have clothes that are worn out? Get rid of them. Ill-fitting? Donate them. Winter clothes that you didn’t wear all winter? You won’t wear them next winter either. Get them out. Inspect whatever is left for loose buttons or other repairs that should be done before the clothes are placed into storage.

Insects are the biggest enemy to your winter wools. Moths and carpet beetles are attracted to the natural fibers as well as food stains embedded within those fibers. It’s an awful experience to pull a favorite jacket out of storage and discover that it is full of holes. Before clothes are stored, stains should be spot cleaned and the clothes should be dry cleaned to kill any egg deposits. It is also a good idea to vacuum and/or steam clean your storage closet’s carpet that may also hold egg deposits.

It’s a good idea to store your suits in canvas bags. The canvas breathes, but adds a layer of protection against insects. I personally use the pictured Rubbermaid canvas suit bags that come with a natural cedar insert. They retail for about twelve dollars each.

The final line of defense is an insect repellent. I prefer cedar; it puts off a pleasant scent, but repels moths and carpet beetles. I use a combination of the canvas bag inserts and hanging cedar blocks. Cedar hangers or a cedar-lined closet are also effective options. Keep in mind that the cedar can be refreshed with a little sandpaper if the scent fades.

Get Closer To Shaving

Whatever the morning, shaving is never part of my routine. My toilet consists of a shower, mouth cleansing and moisturising followed by a dash of fragrance and a little combing. Shaving doesn’t feature. The reason? I dislike shaving and my skin is far less sensitive in the evening than it is in the morning. A shave before sleep, though unconventional, allows time for my skin to rest after the ordeal. And what an ordeal. Squeezing out a cheap spurt of cream, washing off a nasty little razor, applying a stinging aftershave all makes for a thoroughly unsatisfactory experience and sets us in longing for a visit to Truefitt & Hill. For those that can afford a professional shave (and the time it takes to complete the job), I would recommend nothing else; idle millionaires take note, your barber is your true friend.

For the rest, such a visit is likely to occur once in a blue moon; as most men need to shave every or every other day, racking up barber bills is likely to be something of an inconvenience to the bank balance. Therefore, upgrading the kit, and the experience of shaving, is essential to bear the rigors; we shall start with the shaver.

The shaver

There are two kinds of shave; a wet shave and a dry shave. The dry shave involves no lathering, padding or splashing of water but it does involve electricity; the shaver must be powered. I have tried the ‘power shave’ and I must say I find it unsatisfying and the results uncomfortable. Though ideal for ‘trimming’ excess beard to achieve a contrived stubble look, I do not recommend it for the ‘smooth as a baby’ close shave; for that it always needs to be wet.

If any man is capable of using an original razor blade on his own face, I tip my hat. The day I dare to try it will be the day I, quite literally, die; seeing one in action at Truefitt filled me with an utter fear and my common sense of conquering a skill escaped me entirely. For me, like millions of men, the safety razor is the next best thing. It offers the quickest and cheapest solution for a wet shave.

The only trouble with a dratted safety razor is that it is a dull little thing; a cheap lump of an unidentifiable metal with a gauche logo. It has no place in a gentleman’s bathroom. Likewise, that sad can of shaving cream, rusting at the top, looks equally inelegant; what good are calacatta marble and chrome taps when one is to partner them with such things?

After all, your favourite razor blades are compatible with more than the nasty little handle provided.

How about an ebony handled razor, or a horn handled one or polished chrome with your initials? Or perhaps a white porcelain to match the sink into which your hairs will splash? Mr Trumper, Mr DR Harris and Messrs. Truefitt & Hill can surely help with your selection as they offer beautiful razors in a variety of handles.

The shaving cream

The nasty tin of shaving cream that sits on the shelf need no longer disgrace your bathroom. When you have discovered the pleasures of a badger hair brush, you cannot imagine how a supermarket aerosol was ever your preferred product of choice. Though cheap, such aerosols should be for emergencies only; a shaving bowl and brush, which caresses your skin with a refreshing and satisfying almond lather, should be the daily choice. The best thing is to purchase an attractive non-porous shaving soap bowl and thenceforth to purchase shaving soaps of the correct size. The aforementioned Messrs. Trumper, Harris and Truefitt & Hill are the finest retailers of bowls, soaps and badger brushes.

Scented Odyssey Continued…Czech & Speake

As I have mentioned before, I’m on a mission to track down some new scents. This week I’ve been trying out the range of colognes from English company Czech & Speake.

Founded by a chap called Frank Sawkins in the 1970s, the aim was to create a luxury bathrooms and fittings retailer. Seeing the bathroom as a sanctuary, quality and craftsmanship were to be the hall marks. Continuing this theme it was only a matter of time before the company set out to provide fragrances and oils.

I’m still not sure whether reporting on scents works. After all, whether something smells good is a matter of personal taste, and how do you describe a scent really? However, in the case of this particular company they have a nifty way by which everybody can test their scents for themselves at a minimal cost.

Go onto their website and for £2.50 you can order a pack of their sample scents - 9 in total - to test in the comfort of your own home at your own leisure. You also get a £5 voucher redeemable on any purchase you subsequently make. Such a wonderfully simple and convenient method I cannot believe more firms don’t offer this service. Selecting a scent has to be done over time, simply dabbing some on one of those white paper strips in the shop doesn’t tell you anything.

Well this week I’ve been wearing a different scent each day. My views are mixed, but runners include Cuba, No.88, and Oxford & Cambridge.

Cuba: has hints of tobacco and peppermint with wonderfully spicy top notes, and is the longest lasting of the scents. It’s manly but light once the top notes fade.

No.88: On the spicy side thanks to Bergamot, but feels older, darker and heavier than Cuba.  In my view it has manliness written all over it.

Oxford & Cambridge: Heavily weighted by lavender this eventually fades to provide a crisp, clean soapy aura which I could see working rather well in the height of a sweaty summer.

Still plenty more scents to try, but these are certainly contenders. I just wish more houses made it as easy for customers.