Sartorial Stereotypes: Swimwear

Vilebrequin

The Vilebrequin man reclines in relief after his dip in the saltwater pool. His younger girlfriend, earphoned and sunglassed, reacts with the harshest Muscovite disapproval at his playful embrace that covered her perfectly dry and tanned body in cold, chlorined water. Taking a sip of his chilled beer, he turns to his iPad with dissatisfaction, soon tires of its novelty and, frustrated, sits up to observe the moneyed bodies that traipse around the £1,000 a night hotel pool. He eyes the Vilebrequin trunks, ubiquitous in this class of establishment, and sighs with relief that he was not to be outdone by a bunch of has-been American tourists; his own designer shorts, though expensive, were embarrassingly cheap in comparison to the Indigo Blue Chameleon Classics that he had spotted the day before near the Piazzetta. When one of the has-beens wanders near, he whistles to a waiter and, making himself ridiculous, shouts his order “Hey…we want champagne. The best.”

Polo Ralph Lauren

The Polo Ralph Lauren man is not on holiday, and he wants everyone to know. He sits on the beach, loudly initiating sell orders into his hands-free Blackberry whilst tucking in to a club sandwich, which he uses as a gesticulative prop to point at unidentifiable places on the blue horizon. White-uniformed beach staff, carrying chilled sour fruit, are waved away; as soon as he has finished one call, he makes another as he strides down the beach with one arm folded across his midriff. His pale pink Polo Ralph Lauren swimshorts, as dry as their day of purchase, seem to promise a life of tropical cocktails, line fishing with local yachtsmen and jet skiing in the rarefied waters of the Indian Ocean. So far, the closest they have got to a dip is bearing the brunt of an awkward lunchtime spillage that was met with laughter by fellow guests, sweet apology by the perpetrator but only Persol-veiled disapprobation by the Polo Ralph Lauren man.

D&G

The D&G man lies tanned and oiled in a conspicuous position. His girlfriend and her friends have gone down to the hotel’s private beach but due to his aversion to sand, his wandering eyes and his thirst for attention, he has decided to remain alone by the pool where he is watched with a mixture of suspicion and lust by the middle-aged hausfrauen who have long since ceased to love their tubby, snoring husbands. Nodding and tapping his foot to the Europop iPod playlist, he stretches an arm out to the waitress, orders a MaiTai and persuades her to take a sip and a seat next to him. After a bout of teenage flirtation, she takes a picture of the two of them pouting into the camera. His smile fades as he catches sight of a more delectable prospect dipping her toe into the pool; he stands up, waves his thanks to the waitress, flicks the waistband of his oil-slick D&G mini-shorts and dives athletically into the cool water.

Speedo

The Speedo man stands proudly in the water, surveying the frolicking crowds. A man of nearly seventy, he regards his body with satisfaction as a young female smiles politely as she swims past. He looks back guiltily at his wife, comatose under a vast umbrella, and rejoices in his position; the sun, the sea, the smile of a young lady. It will not be long before his wife wails to him that it is time to eat, when he will turn from the sea to his much-neglected sunlounger to dry his legs, don a linen shirt and skulk up to the deck for lunch, invariably a white fish and salad served on a white tablecloth, opposite his wrinkling, grouchy wife who scolds him for rejecting her suggestion of wearing shorts to the luncheon table. He gazes down at his navy Speedos, stung by her notion that ‘no one wants to look at what you’ve got down there’ and dreams again of being in the water, breathing in the air and taking in the view.

Sexuality and Style

Sexuality and style are two of the most misunderstood facets of life. Combine the two and you are presented with one of the most confused, jumbled, nonsensical, contradictory forms of human signalling and communication I have ever encountered. Sex itself is not the issue; although it boasts an enormous and essential role in the fashion world, in style it is an also-ran. Sexual appeal is the issue and it has become the shy elephant in the room ‘that dare not speak it’s name’; proverb-cocktails aside, it is a largely unspoken problem and one of deep importance that goes to the heart of society’s interpretation of aesthetics and sexuality. And, as sweetly attractive as the ideas of ‘truth’, ‘honesty’ and ‘veracity’ are, interpretation is the emperor of thought in the modern age and this applies as much to the most powerful politicians in the world as it does the lowly bedroom-based hack.

“Anonymous said…
You’re not like a faggot, are you?”

The above comment was posted to my blog last week. I apologise if it offends readers as it offended me but it was necessary to include it as part of this analysis as it provided the catalyst for these thoughts. I have received similar comments in the past and the, arguably wise, advice from friends and followers has always been to ignore them. Ignorance is sensible and a happy state but it’s rather selfish and short-termist. It shows no regard for the long-game problem of prejudice, and the causes of that prejudice, and it actually propagates the self-conscious superiority that can fuel such mistrust and hatred.

It is an interesting comment for it can be interpreted in more than one way. Perhaps the commentator was a keen follower of the blog and was expressing disquiet about my deportment and attire representing more than a love of colour and pattern and, inexplicably, connected one love with another; love of inanimate objects to love of a particular anatomy. Perhaps the commentator was a follower of these articles and decided to make a visit to my blog to examine the author; perhaps they had chanced upon the blog whilst idly browsing the Blogger pages. However they arrived at the point at which they decided to make that comment, they must still have possessed a motive and intent to produce an effect and reaction – and I doubt they expected this.

Whilst chatting on the topic with my friend Barima recently, I realised how much of an issue sexuality and style was and always has been. Living in a metropolis like London is an unrepresentative experience of a country. The sophistry and cosmopolitan nature of city life leads you to an appealing numbness to things that are different; what to the rest of the world is sideshow-freakery is merely humdrum to the metropolitan.

Heading into the sparsely populated ‘shires attracts more looks of suspicion than admiration – Britons don’t like ‘different’ things – and a great deal of what people do not understand needs a simplistic explanation. This applies not only to my country but to many others. People have been known to ask, rather awkwardly, about sexuality, even when one has an arm around a girl. It doesn’t seem normal to a lot of people to be what many have said they would consider ‘well-dressed’ and be anything other than a homosexual. And it is not only stag-fighting that provokes such supposition; women have also been known to leap to such conclusions. Despite frequent protestations from the fairer sex that men should take more care of themselves, develop at least a half-interest in dressing and take pride in their appearance, the reality is that their desires at the courtship phase are frequently the opposite. This is where the lines of sexual understanding between the sexes blur; when societal suspicions and ‘interpretations’ take hold.

Clothing has often played a role in signalling sexual inclination. The ‘Green Carnation’ is one of the most famous trademarks – prompting Noel Coward to use the reference in his musical Bitter Sweet, which premiered when homosexuality was still illegal; “And as we are the reason for the “nineties” being gay, we all wear a green carnation.” And, as Barima informed me, in the 1960s and 1970s, Tommy Nutter’s Savile Row emporium was a haven for London’s gay sartorialists and that for some people, the Nutter suit became a symbol of something more than stylistic élan.

Today, there is no dyed flower or flared trouser, coloured-button stitching or peculiar item of sartorial jewellery representing the calling card. At the beginning of the last century, a noticeably well-dressed man was likely to have been considered a terror of the ladies, which, in fairness, is partly due to the organised oppression, criminalisation and concealment of homosexuality but also partly to do with the aesthetic ideals of the age.

A century later and even the merest poke of a pocket square is apt to provoke the castigation of a suspicious public. A well-dressed man is no longer simply a well-dressed man. Unless he is overtly expressing his true sexuality for the benefit of the presumptuous and feeble minded, he is a foregone conclusion.

In 1911, he is a cad.

In 2011, he is a gay.

His sexual identification, curiously and necessarily entwined with his manner of dress, may be misapplied but his sexual appeal rarely is.

The Solosso Custom Made Shirt Giveaway

It’s always a challenge to find great fitting, well made clothing at affordable prices. With shirts, that challenge is even higher. You wouldn’t think it possible with all the “custom made clothing” services that emerged on the Internet in recent years. Reality is that usually only a glimpse over the images of the clothing offered at these services is enough to make you look for the close button in your web browser.

We were, therefore, pleasantly surprised when we learned of Solosso – a company that indeed provides high quality custom tailored shirts. Admittedly we haven’t had the opportunity to inspect their shirts by hand, but you can tell from the information and images on the website that they have all the marks of high quality shirts: fine fabrics, mother-of-pearl buttons, pattern matching, single needle stitching, removable collar stays, split yokes, and gussets.

Another feature that separates Solosso from the bunch is that their manufacturing practices maintain socially responsible and environmentally sound methods. Solosso uses recycled packaging, buttons are made from pearls which were grown on farms, not harvested and they contribute to the Carbonfund.org to offset CO2 footprint from the shipping.

The process of ordering a shirt is fairly simple: customer creates his shirt from the start, choosing the fabrics and fit along with optional custom design elements like a monogram or an alternative fabric on an inner cuff or collar. With easy measurement guidelines and perfect fit guarantee there’s minimal chance of something going wrong.

Solosso approached us with the idea to give out one custom tailored shirt 100% free to one lucky reader of MensFlair.com which we happily accepted. With Father’s Day approaching they also decided to give 20 USD off the purchase to anyone using the code: FATHERSUNITED2011, until the end of June.

For a chance to win the shirt do one of the following: 1) Follow or retweet on Twitter, 2) Like or share on Facebook, or 3) Subscribe our mailing list at the top right corner. Then simply comment to this article telling us you did it. The winner will be picked via Random.org.

This is our first giveaway and there are no freebie hunters around so you’ll have a high chance of winning the shirt. The giveaway ends 10th June at 12:00 PM (EDT). Enter today!

The Sartorialist’s Summer Dream, Pt 2: The Alternative Summer Season

In my last posting I highlighted some of the opportunities open to you for a little summer time glamour.

In an increasingly informal world, where men are commonly seen going out to dinner in jeans and t-shirts, it’s nice to know there are places where classic standards of dress still pertain, and that some people are prepared to make the effort.

In England we are spoilt for choice. While my last post highlighted those for the formal season, if you like your entertainment a little less stuffy, and a little cheaper, you might want to consider the unofficial season.

The Blitz Party, 4th June 2011

As the name suggests, the Blitz Party is a celebration of the style and music of Britain’s War years (1939-45). We’re talking uniforms Swing bands, sand bags and glad rags. Glamour and danger often go hand in hand and people largely overlook what a stylish era this was. Not only were two thirds of the country in uniform but even in this time of great danger people still dressed in black tie for dinner. And don’t get me started on the women. Fantastic. Think Ruby red lipstick and silk stockings with black seams up the back.  Hats were still in vogue as were three piece suits and rakishly cut double breasted’s. As you can see from the website people really make the effort, and while many men take the opportunity to dress up like RAF Spitfire pilots I think I’ll be going black tie.

Prohibition 1920s, 11th June 2011

In the same vein as The Blitz Party and organised by the same people, the Prohibition 1920s is an opportunity to connect with your inner Wooster. Black or White Tie seems the most appropriate option for true gentlemen.

The Chap Olympiad, 16th July 2011

Organised by those fine fellows at The Chap Magazine and the folks behind The Blitz Party, the Chap Olympiad is an annual event held in London’s Bedford Square  – no expensive stadium and Olympic Village for these folks.  A perfect occasion for strutting your tweed and doffing your hat to a fine filly or two, the Olympiad is a celebration of English eccentricity. Attendees are invited to picnic and partake in such events as tossing the plate of cucumber sandwiches, the pipe smokers relay and the three legged trouser race. Alternatively you can relax and enjoy live music, side shows, sporting ineptitude and fine facial hair.

Strictly a ticket only affair, they’re currently on sale at Ticketweb for a reasonable £15. Revellers are expected to get into the spirit of the event by dressing the part, which all adds to the gayety.

Goodwood Revival, 16th-18th September 2011

Rather less tongue in cheek and a bit more formal, The Goodwood Revival is the largest historic race meet in the World. This spectacle is made all the more real by the dress code. Most go in period dress as do all the drivers, mechanics and race officials. Tweed tends to be the order of the day here, although the last time I went I sported a classic blazer and trilby. Being a motorsport and classic car enthusiast this is one my favourite summer events. The racing is real, as is the glamour. This is one of those rare occasions when you’d feel silly for not making an effort.

You may think all these things sound and seem a little silly. So what, I say. It’s a rare pleasure to be in the company of people who want to look good and who actually enjoy themselves doing it.

The Sartorialist’s Summer Dream

The English summer is a glorious thing. You may scoff, particularly those of you who believe the lie that it only ever rains here. In fact the UK gets a lower rainfall per year than Mexico – we just never know when it’s going to happen. Come summertime I can think of no other country I’d rather be in, winter is a different matter.

Our days are bright and sunny without being overbearing, and the humidity is such that you don’t have to spend your time sat indoors lest you sweat through a days clothing. But above all, if you’re inclined to make the effort, it can be a glorious festival of fun and sartorial delight.

I was reminded of that fact this week having received confirmation of my tickets for both the Royal Enclosure at Ascot and the Chap Olympiad  – more on that last event in my next post.

But let us review.

The Derby, Epsom Downs 3-4th June

I’ve become a regular race goer over the last few years and while not quite as formal as Royal Ascot, if you’re in the Queen’s Stand on Derby Day then it’s full morning dress, otherwise it’s a minimum of jacket, collar and tie in all other locations. Most take the opportunity to dress up. The women look stunning, particularly on Ladies’ Day, and it would be wise to follow suit. Far less regulated than Ascot you don’t have to be sponsored to get Queen’s Stand tickets.

Royal Ascot, Tuesday 14th to Saturday 18th June

It’s too late to get tickets for the Royal Enclosure but you can still get Grand Stand tickets. Friends and I did this a few years ago and had a great day. The dress code is still formal, but not morning suit. The design of the course and grandstand means you’ll get access to just about everything and have a wonderfully enjoyable day. This is the place to display your summer suiting wardrobe. This may surprise you, but it’s easier to get tickets to the Royal enclosure if you’re a foreigner. Americans, Kiwis and Australians need only apply through their embassy – ballots are closed for this year, but there’s always 2012.

Glorious Goodwood,  26th-30th July

Spread over the week and set high on the beautiful South Downs, Glorious Goodwood is another of the great social and horseracing events on the sporting calendar - and yes it’s actually known as Glorious Goodwood. Whereas Ascot is all pomp and ceremony, Goodwood is one long summer garden party with horse racing tacked on. While a certain amount of formality is required, thanks to King Edward VII the morning suit is discarded in favour of linen suits and Panama hats - and Champagne is replaced by Pimm’s. Personally, I enjoy Glorious Goodwood more than Royal Ascot.

Glyndebourne Festival, May to August

Not a sporting event this one, but a celebration of Opera. A uniquely English affair, the Glyndebourne Festival is set in the grounds of John Christie’s country house. An extended interval provides time for an evening meal, with organisers encouraging opera goers to make full use of the grounds and host their own picnics. By convention the dress code is black tie. You don’t have to be a member to get tickets, although members do get priority booking.

Now I’m not suggesting you go to these events simply to dress up, I happen to enjoy opera and a day at the races. But in a world which grows increasingly informal, it’s nice to know that there are still opportunities for you to combine summer fun with high sartorial standards.

I’ve listed a fraction of what’s out there: Wimbledon, the Henley Regatta, Cows Week and the Chelsea Flower Show round out the ‘formal’ list. If, however, you’re looking for an alternative ‘Season’ well there’s plenty of enjoyable attractions providing a touch of old school glamour, and these will be covered in my next post.